Advice with Adam: Dealing with parents that have different plans for your future than you do
I received this request from a commenter on a previous post. Hope it helps!A lot of parents feel like they know what is best for their child, even if it is not what the child wants. Now, this is sometimes probably for the best, like when little Alex wants to eat ice cream for dinner, but a parent throws a vegetable into the mix. But with life-defining decisions, some parents don’t understand that it is probably best for their child to decide. If you find yourself in this situation, it may feel overwhelming to have your parents dictating how you spend your life, but there are avenues you can take to try and find a solution.Even though it may seem like they just hate you, they probably genuinely want what’s best for you. While you’re an individual who ought to be capable of making his or her own decisions, what they probably see is the kid that they have been making decisions for throughout your entire life.A way to remedy this may be to sit down with your parents and have an honest conversation about how you would like to make your own choices. This serves a few purposes. First of all, if you handle yourself in a mature fashion, it may demonstrate to them that you’re mature enough to handle your own life.Also, some students are so worried about the pressure from their parents that they don't even tell their parents how they feel. If it was made clear to them that you don’t want to do what they want you to do, then perhaps they would have a change of heart.Make sure you mention what you intend to pursue. If they see your passion for themselves, they are more likely to come around than if you were just rejecting their idea without an alternative.Even better is if you approach the situation with a cohesive plan of how you intend to pursue your career choice. Knowing you’ve done your research may help ease their mind.One reason some parents may feel justified in making these decisions for their child’s future is the fact that many children are still financially dependent on their parents. Understandably, they probably don’t want to spend money to support your career choice if they think it will be a waste. So, part of your plan might have to be how you plan to be self-sustainingIf after all attempts, you and your parents still don’t see eye to eye, you may need to have to find other ways to prove to them that you deserve the chance to make your own decisions about your future. Following a career path you have no interest in because your parents want you to may mean that you don’t like whatever job you end up in.No matter what your parents say, you should have an important or prominent role in the final decision. At the end of the day, it isn't your parents’ life; it’s yours.
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